365 Seinfeld

1-7-10

Well, by bedtime last night, I was up to five references. At this point, I would have to quit my job to keep up with writing them all down. Today was similar, but I’ll spare you and only choose one.

I came home from work to find my daughter nursing my dog’s paw. He apparently banged into something and bent one of his toenails completely to the side. I called the vet. I'm considering taking him in, but soon he was running around like his old self. I went to the drug store and purchased gauze and hydrogen peroxide. I don’t want the vet to yank out his nail and make it worse. What to do…I held his head in my hands and asked, “Why don’t you just tell what to do?” I used my Kramer Moviefone voice. He didn't answer. Right now he seems fine. We’re keeping a close eye on him.

365 Seinfeld

1-6-10

It appears that my husband is the source for most of the Seinfeld references. Today he called to inform me that my latest Netflix movie arrived.
“What movie is this?”
“Medicine for Melancholy”
“What?” he said. “Never heard of it.”
“It’s an independent film, two people just getting to know each other and wandering around San Francisco. It’s one of those flicks where nothing really happens.”
“It’s a movie about nothing?”
“Yeah, well probably.”
“It’s about NOTHING! Something happens…no nothing happens!”
At this point I told him, “I get it. You’re George when they were pitching the pilot to NBC.”

Thanks hubby!

365 Seinfeld

I usually call my husband around 10 am each morning to make sure he arrived at work okay and to see what’s up for the day. Today my hubby talked about working extra hard this year. I’m not really sure how this differs from all the years before. I told him, “You know, everyone knows by now how hard you work, your stuff is out there.” His reply, “I’m out there Jerry and I’m loving every minute of it!” This of course refers to the episode when Kramer tries to switch to boxers to increase his sperm count. He can’t make the transition and to everyone’s dismay, ends up wearing no underwear at all.

Song of the Week

I’ve decided to pick up Song of the Week once again. I’m laying some great tunes on you guys. I’d take notice if I were you! This week is from the briefly formed British band “The Communards.” Their biggest hit was a cover of Thelma Houston’s Don’t Leave me This Way. This is my all time favorite disco song and I was quite resistant to a cover, however this 1986 club hit came through. It’s a bit dated sounding, but it definitely evokes that fun 80’s vibe and still makes you want to dance. Get out on that dance floor girl!

365 Seinfeld

1-4-10

My daughter had her first driving lesson today. It was okay. She realized it’s a lot harder than she thought. When I came home from work we talked. I have to take her out on the road to practice. I asked her if she felt like, “Now I’m driving the bus!” One of my all time favorite Kramer quotes from when he saves the pinky toe. I quote this one a lot, so get use to it.

Pearl Jam - Just Breathe

I actually resisted posting this version of "Just Breathe." This live Austin City Limits performance is not nearly as awful as the actual CD track. I've never been a fan of Pearl Jam,they're okay and have had some good songs over the years. Recently, I really enjoyed the solo work Eddie Vedder did for the Into The Wild movie. Let's been honest though, this song is horrible! The first time my son and I heared this on the car radio, we completely froze. We were both waiting for the same thing, for it to be a joke. It had to be. But no, this is a real song. Sigh!

365 Seinfeld - Day Three

1-3-10

It didn’t come till 6 p.m., but it came! I went to visit a friend today, so I knew the Seinfeld reference would be tough. I don’t recall my friend and I having conversations about Seinfeld. Later, when I returned home, my husband and I took the dog for a walk and then decided to chat over a latte. We enjoyed our coffee and then popped into Half Price Books. I was looking for some affordable calendars. I found a great week-at-a-glance type that would be great for tracking my blog posts. I happily paid the $3.98 and told my husband, “Man, that calendar is going to be awesome! It’s scratching me right where I itch!”
Kramer said that line, but I’m a bit cloudy on the episode. I think it was the one where Kramer and Morty Seinfeld decide to sell the raincoats together. Am I right?

Sherlock Holmes

Thanks, I’ll pass

Look, I’m going to be honest with you. This pic is the main reason I went to see Sherlock Holmes. Robert Downey Jr. has managed to give us several decades of hotness, not to mention fantastic acting performances.

Downey did not disappoint, but many other aspects of the film did. I have to place the blame with the director, Guy Ritchie. He seems like would rather be a member of Fight Club than make a good movie. All his movies have dudes engaging in bloody fights. The adorable Rachel McAdams was completely wasted to the point where I wonder if Ritchie simply didn’t know what to do with a chick!

What did work was Jude Law as Watson. Law tends to be a forgettable actor for me. However, when I see him on the screen, he always delivers a top-notch performance. The chemistry between Law and Downey was the best part of the film.

The scenery was rich and authentic looking. Everything looked and felt believable, but at a running time of 2 hours and 14 minutes, I found myself screaming for an editor. This, once again, brings up the excessive fight scenes. I decided that I could sneak in a little snooze during one of the extended brawls and guess what? I opened my eyes and quickly picked up the story without having missed anything I needed to understand the plot.

Of course the end of the picture hinted at a sequel, and I’m sure they’ll make one. I’ll be torn. Maybe if they bring in another director, or if you can promise me better pacing. If not, I’m afraid I’ll have to save my $10 bucks and nap at home.

365 Seinfeld - Day Two

1-2-10

Often there is a fear that when you make something “official” it will disintegrate before your eyes. Hours floated by today with no Seinfeld references. Did I curse myself? Would it all end now? By 9 p.m. I was blessed with not one, but three. Here’s the breakdown:

I was grocery shopping with my husband and we picked over the 50% off Christmas items shelf. I look over at my hubby, who’s holding up a red knitted cap…in the grocery store? He says to me, “I like this hat.” He used this weird voice. I crinkled my nose: “What?”
“Remember when Kramer wanted those Cuban cigars and he had to trade his jacket? That guy touched his jacket and said, ‘I like this jacket.’”

I was done. Whew! This experiment was going to work. I relaxed and prepared for my son’s evening basketball game. During the game, I sat next a co-players dad and daughter. The daughter was playing some weird video game for her Nintendo DSI. She was able to take pictures and stretch them or place obscure templates around them. She took I picture of her dad and placed his face on a king playing card. When I looked over, the dad said to me, “Look, I’m the King!” I laughed and said, “I’M THE KING!” In the same tone as “I’m THE WIZ!” Wow, twice in one day!

On our return home I began making muffins to take to my friend’s house tomorrow. I pulled out some muffin paper liners. I grabbed the first ones I found. They were Winnie the Pooh. When my daughter came over to see what I was making she saw the muffin liners and exclaimed, “Pooooh!” Just like Elaine when she’s stupid and she’s trying to do the crossword puzzle.

Since I was bombarded with so many references today, I thought I should post this. If I wait till the end of the week, it will be WAY too long!

365 Seinfeld

I was right. I couldn’t pull myself away from The Twilight Zone marathon long enough to write a New Year’s Day post. Oh well…in the end I made the right choice. It’s only once a year that the Syfy network rolls those out, so I must indulge myself

Now we’re here with a new year – heck, a new decade- and Colleenie’s Couch is going to up the ante. You can still take a seat on the couch and get great TV, movie, book and music reviews, but I’m adding several new regular features that I think you’ll enjoy.

I already mentioned that this is the place to be when American Idol revs up again later this month. My regular feature “Idol Chatter” will be a great forum to discuss and diss all the current contestants. Believe me, I have lots of opinions and advice. It’s my firm belief that the show should have hired me instead of Ellen!

Another new feature will be 365 Days with Seinfeld. Seinfeld is just hands down the best sitcom ever. My husband and I loved this show when it originally aired. Now my oldest child regularly watches the repeats and even my youngest pops in now and again. This show really has staying power! I began to notice that we make lots of Seinfeld references. It got me thinking, “I’ll bet we don’t get through a 24 hour period without quoting Seinfeld.” Once I started to pay attention, I realized I was right. Within one day, we’ll either quote it, or something will happen to make me refer back to the show.

So here we go. I’m unveiling 365 Seinfeld. This is a completely organic experiment to see how many days in 2010 I will quote, think and encounter Seinfeld references. I don’t want to bombard you with a daily post, so my thought is to post a week’s worth each Friday. As we go along, maybe this will change. If you would also like to post your Seinfeld occurrences, please feel free.

Now, much like the episode The Contest, we all have to be comfortable within the confines of the honor system. I’m no George. I’ll be completely honest about my days. If I honestly get through a whole day with no reference, I will let you know. This is only an experiment. There is no medal or anything at the end of the year. However, wouldn’t that be awesome? What would be a great Seinfeld trophy? Maybe that blue lady statue George broke as a kid? How about a Tweety Bird Pez dispenser? Or a poster signed by “the other one” of The Three Tenors?

Let’s get started then, shall we? As previously mentioned, yesterday was all about The Twilight Zone Marathon. It was afternoon, I was still in my pj’s and I was doing load after load of laundry. I knew at some point I was going to have to get dressed and go grocery shopping. With the kids on school break, they’ve been eating me out of house and home. Still, I was in a laundry groove and didn’t want to go out in public. The afternoon drug on and I knew I had to get it in gear. I looked at my husband and said, “But I don’t wanna go grocery shopping!” It was the best Jerry whine I could muster. My husband replied, “I don’t wanna be a pirate!” My daughter, who was at the computer, chuckled. “Puffy shirt!” we all exclaimed.

So begins 2010. Right now I’m the only one awake. It’s unlikely I’ll get a Seinfeld reference now, but it’s not impossible! I have fourteen hours to go!